Marriage

Marriage. It's a huge step. It also costs a lot. Not just the wedding itself, but the rest of it. I love my husband; he's my best friend in the whole wide world. There have been times when I'd like to kick him (seriously. I grew up with brothers...I did that kind of thing. Either that or stick him in the center of an inner tube and fling him down a hill...that is kind of fun though and it probably wouldn't let him know I was actually ticked off), where we don't really like each other that much, but we still love each other. In the beginning years we both admit that there were times where we'd wake up and look over at the other person, thinking "what have I done. I'm in this for life!" Mostly, however, I love being married. I love knowing someone's going to be there when I come home, knowing that if I can't eat all my burger I've got help, knowing I've got someone to make me take my vitamins when I can't be bothered, I like knowing that I'm beautiful to somebody, and I like knowing that I'm taken care of.

This is why I am sad. I'm sad because there are some really dumb guys out there. Sorry, male population, but there are! I've got some absolutely beautiful, intelligent, funny, adventuresome, non-threatening girlfriends who would love to find someone, settle down, have babies, make soup and berry pies (or eat out...whichever): someone to come home to. If I had my wish, I'd take the best of the best of the single men out there (and I'd find them!!), drill them for details, match them up with my girls and whah-lah! we'd have some good husbands for these lovely girls. I know I'm not supposed to play God and it's NOT my job, but the temptation is so big sometimes.

I just went to a bridal shower today. One of the new girls here was married 5 days before she moved to Indonesia, and two of her friends here threw her a post-wedding surprise shower, 2 months after her Big Day. I love going to showers, wedding or baby. There's always so much life involved, lots of hopes and dreams for the future, and usually some pretty funny stories if you pay

attention to what's being said around you. I especially love it when it's a surprise, and the bride actually falls for it, like Becky did today.

The shower was held at a new restaurant in town, Grasshopper Thai, where Emily the proprietor serves Thai food but will whip up a scrumptious English tea party for you as well. Today was a good day--an extra special day for Becky--spent with good friends.

Tris and I are working through the Love and Respect marriage series with a few young couples and a longer-term one, and we're getting a lot out of it. Each time we examine our own marriage, not only does it make me thankful for the man I've been blessed with, it makes me happy when I see others in my life blessed the same--difficulties, blemishes, even heartaches, and all. It also makes me wish the same for those I know want to be married, and that's been my prayer for these friends of mine for years. I'm happy to say that some of my prayers have been answered, and I know there are more to come:)

Thanks for reading.

What do you DO all day?

This summer I was hanging out with my baby brother, Tyler, and he asked me a very simple yet extremely difficult to answer question. We were talking about life in Indonesia, and he asked me "what do you do all day?" I stumbled over the question a bit and then we were interrupted, and the answer to that question has haunted me since. What DO I do all day? What does ANYBODY do who is unemployed in a foreign country, has a helper (ok, I admit, she's a maid...call it what you will) and a part-time driver, a pre-teen and a teen who are becoming quite independent, and who no longer has permanent access to a sewing machine but has a great mac computer?? I've thought about it over the last two months, and although I can't give a day by day analysis, this is what I do in a week, or at least in a month. Please note, what I DO and what I aspire to are sometimes two completely different things. In point form:

*in the early morning I use the time given to me (I KNOW I will look back at this in the future and sigh) to work on a bible study. Never in my life have I had the time to sit, read and write like I do in the mornings here. Note: while I do this, my family is getting ready, but with the kids' ages and their wearing uniforms, my morning input consists of "have you got your lunch?", "brush your teeth!" "deodorant???" and "I love you. Have a great day."

*by 7 am I am up and usually meeting someone for some form of exercise, whether it's a walk, tennis or bike riding. The best thing we ever brought to Indo is our bikes, and although there are few places to ride, having them is much more convenient than walking and healthier than driving.

*often my mornings consist of: tidying so our helper can get to the dirt more easily; computer work (either editing for World Vision, preparing something for Karawaci Ladies, answering questions directed to me because of our blog or just because of the fact that we have now lived here for over 2 years); computer fun (blogging, checking emails/facebook, finding recipes, reading other blogs, skyping); meetings for Karawaci Ladies, bible study or SPH (although now that the kids are in middle school the amount of meetings i have to go to has dwindled); grocery shopping with my helper (sometimes); language study (which has involved homework since I've decided to get more serious); self-appointed chores (anywhere from sewing on buttons to painting a room); and of course, there's always time for friends.

*my afternoons consist of (ok, gotta stay honest here...): naps. Yup, sometimes I nap. Now that I'm feeling significantly healthier than I have for the past 1 1/2 years I do this much less, but the nap is there if I need it. I also garden periodically, although I tend to save this for the weekends. Right now it's pretty mushy outside and so I garden when it's dry. As well, I've been working on home improvements lately, which can be anything from planting new plants or trees, scraping paint off the floors from previous tenants, painting a room, redirecting outdoor pipes so that water won't lift the paint, to rat & ant proofing our home. Most weeks I bake at least twice a week, sometimes more if the baking was a hit, and I like to try a new recipe at least once a week. Periodically I plan an event like Thanksgiving dinner for a large group, etc, and I do this during my quiet afternoons. Once a week I meet with 2 women and we practice our Indonesian (one already speaks it as a second language and is learning more vocabulary as she teaches us the grammar) for about 2 hours. Once a week I meet with a young woman who has asked that I act as her mentor/accountability person/friend (the last one comes easy). I work on my bible study homework, either stuff I am preparing for others or the homework that has been assigned to me. Typically after school I do pilates on Tuesdays, go to the slums with Abby either Wednesday or Friday, and sometimes meet Tris at the gym on Wednesdays (any time I mention the gym read: I go and work my arms, check my phone, drink water, chat with other gym goers, sit on the bike and sweat because the a/c isn't that strong).

There are many cracks in between all of these events, and sometimes I get to fill them with tea with friends, a day of shopping or exploring in and around Jakarta, a trip to the local morning market or, once in a blue moon, I lock myself in my bedroom, turn on the a/c and read a good book.

As a family, our evenings are pretty lax when they're not filled with homework. Mondays we have specifically taken off in order to make sure that the kids get their week started properly. Tuesday Tris and I are presently leading a Love and Respect group with attendees ranging from dating to being married 2 months, 8 months, 9 years and 18 years...the latter is us and we're the old guys in the group. Wednesday Tris and I have committed to a bible study from our church (International English Service or IES) which is held in our taman (neighbourhood) and which we are thoroughly enjoying being a part of. Thursdays are for wrapping up the week and making sure that the kids are prepared for whatever is coming up the next week. Fridays the kids go to their own bible study and Tris and I hang. Saturdays and Sundays have taken on a unique quality all their own and each one would be a blog post in itself.

It's weird putting into words what I do each day, and it makes me realize that although I am not a teacher (I get asked this question regularly...do I look like a teacher?) or any other label of employment for that matter, I still maintain a productive and not just 'busy' lifestyle. It is my wish that some day I will have some marketable qualities that look good on paper, especially because I can't see us living here forever and I'll eventually need a job, but until then, I'll keep on doing what I'm doing.

Our First Indonesian Wedding (Sept 18, 2010)

Last weekend our family had the privilege of attending an Indonesian (Chinese) wedding. Other foreign guests said that it was quite a western wedding compared to some that they had been to before, but I've gotta tell you, we've never been to a wedding like it. The venue was a sports club called Pantai Mutiara (Pearl Beach) in North Jakarta, over an hour away from our home. Thankfully the weather was cooperative as it was held outdoors, under a beautiful three-starred night. Even the breeze blew in the right direction, and kept the smell of the surrounding waters away from the evening's festivities. If one looked at the water from the dock that we stood on (ohhh, the beams looked like the cedar beams used to make docks back home...) we could see the rubbish floating in the brown water, and it made me understand why one would host a wedding after dusk. It was the sound of the water lapping against the piles that made the water magical, definitely not the smell nor the sight.

As for the wedding itself, the actual ceremony had taken place earlier in the day, at 10 am. We were invited to both, but as is common, apparently, for such events, most guests only attend the reception. We arrived at 6:30 pm, and after our driver dropped our family off at the front doors, we walked down a beautiful pink & red satin-draped corridor through the hotel to the outdoor reception. A long red carpet led us down through the reception area where, after signing the guest book and leaving our monetary gift in a special box, we headed towards the cake, drinks and fruit plates. Lining the carpet on the outskirts of the dock were food vendor stalls, each labelled with their particular food for the taking. If you take a look at the photo above, you'll see pillars behind Kendri and Cyinthia, the happy couple and their parents, and the cake in between. That cake was HUGE! According to etiquette, none of the food or drinks were to be touched until after the wedding party arrived, which typically occurs about 30 minutes after the guests arrive.

It was fun to meet up with a few of our SPH community members, and a few old ones that have moved elsewhere, and to chat while we waited. Once the wedding party had arrived, the parents were introduced and the wedding couple strolled down the long red carpet, finally stopping under a flower and grape covered "love gazebo." It was here that Kendri, the husband, spoke some incredible words of love and admiration, in English, to his beautiful new bride (I told Matt to take notes for the future Kendri was so good!) that inspired older couples like Tris and I to gaze into each other's eyes for a split second and think of our own vows (ah, memories of new love) made to each other years ago.

Indonesians are quite into romance, and this was proven when, while the newlyweds fed grapes to each other, choreographed reams of tinsel hearts exploded over the couple and above the crowd. This happened a second time a few moments later after the couple finished feeding each other pieces of their wedding cake. What REALLY screamed romance, though, was when the couple leaned in for their official "wedding bliss kiss" and fireworks, yes...seriously...fireworks went off behind them. Our friend Becky was able to capture the incredible, out-of-a-movie scene on her Canon snap and shoot. You can't see the couple but you get the gist of the whole atmosphere. Very lovely.

There are very few opportunities to dress up in this culture, at least for our family, and so it was fun to put on our nicest clothes, wear heels (thankfully, they don't even sell nylons here) or dress shoes, and to sweat in clothes we don't usually have the fun of sweating in. Tris did that really well, even after he took off the dress jacket, but fortunately that was hidden by the shadows of the night:) When someone commented that Tris looks hot in this photo, little does she know how hot he REALLY is (and for the record, I agree, he does look pretty hot). Here's our family in regular form, and then posing properly for a nice family shot.

We really enjoyed our night and were glad to have been invited.

Thanks for reading.

301st Post...Year 3 has begun!

I can't believe it...we've entered into our 3rd year here in Indonesia, and I've written over 300 blog posts. For some of you, that many words coming out of me comes as no surprise, but I didn't think I'd last more than a few months. I figured I'd run out of interesting topics early in the game, but as life goes on, so does blogging.

Our family, and our SPH community, has just finished a 10 day holiday and today was the first day back to school. Many families went on vacation outside of our village but we opted to stay home and save money for our upcoming Germany trip. It's quite amazing, really, how nice it is just to stay home and be. Be. For Matt and Abby, that meant hanging with their friends (the ones who stayed home), watching tv, eating, helping me paint their rooms, and reading. Lots of reading. Being for Tris meant golfing as much as possible, watching tv, exercising with his lovely wife (tennis, biking and the gym mostly) and reading. And practicing golf swings wherever he went. I "be'd" by shopping for groceries, prepping and cooking in the kitchen, as well as baking for a variety of get-togethers over the holidays. I loved every minute of it, and although I missed Ami, our helper, Matt and Abby (and Tris, too), did their fair share of dishes to help me out. I did a lot of laundry, which, admittedly, I love to do, and Matt and I shared the ironing duties when necessary. The most productive part of the holidays was that I was able to paint the kids' rooms. After 2 years of begging for painted rooms, we relented and went ahead with it, even though you never know when the school will decide to move us into another home.

What is weird is that we took hardly any photos at all, so you'll have to take my word for it that we had a good time. We did go to our first Indonesian wedding, but even then I didn't have my camera (Tris made me leave it at home. It didn't match my dress). I'll have to get the photos from a friend before posting about it.

One last item that Tris is harping on me to write about (he's sitting right here) is that i rode an ojek today and as I was getting off it, I burned my leg quite badly (sort of) on the exhaust pipe. The bandage is huge, and everyone who has lived here for a while knows that when someone has a bandage on the inner calf, it means that you've burned yourself on an ojek. There you have it.

Thanks for reading.

Sea World Field Trip

I love field trips. Last week I had an opportunity to go on one to Sea World with some children who live in some nearby slums, as well as their teachers and two young women who are new to Indonesia and SPH (Jen and Becky). Part of the money that was raised a few weeks ago at the Karawaci Ladies' Trivia Night for Education went towards renting a bus, buying lunches and snacks and paying for the entry fee into the area where Sea World is located. When approached, Sea World very quickly and generously agreed to waive the entry fees for the children as well as the chaperones for the entire day. Not only did they pay for our entry, but they gave the children fun stickers and goodies to take home with them as well.

When we were inside Sea World, the children were able to see things they have never seen in their lives. They touched small sharks, sea turtles, sea creatures (no idea what they were!) as well as watched stingrays, sharks, turtles and large fish eat during feeding time. I had fun watching the creatures, but mostly I enjoyed the kids' faces. Priceless.

After Sea World, we headed to the beach. These kids live near a river and so most of them know how to swim. However, although they live on the island of Java, they'd never seen the ocean before, and therefore had never swam in it. Originally the teachers rules were that the kids could walk in the water only. After about 30 minutes, however, the kids pleaded their case and said how much they wanted to swim in the ocean (many times over), and of course, the teachers agreed. There was no way you could say no to their pleading.

These kids were amazing. They swam in jeans and t-shirts, shorts and shirts, some with clothes that were way too big when dry and that grew even bigger when wet, and not once did they complain that they were uncomfortable, too sandy, and even though they were shivering, too cold. Afterwards they changed with no comment, with no towels and with little privacy, and they were so excited to have had a chance to play in the ocean. I could learn a thing or two about being content from these kids.

What a wonderful way to spend my day! I can go weeks, even months here in Indo, enjoying daily life, living and learning what I can, but it's when I get to be a part someone else's life, to experience things that I have done before but with a new perspective, that I really experience an excitement about being here. I know that no matter where I live on this earth, I have opportunity to learn through someone else's eyes, and I am thankful for these kids and for the blessing of spending a day with them here in Indo.

Thanks for reading.

Fish & Loaves...and Beef Vindaloo

Holidays are almost here. Ramadhan, the month of Islamic prayer and fasting, is almost over, ending with Idul Fitri. Idul Fitri is the closest thing here to our Christian Christmas, where people all over Indonesia journey home to their families. Our helper and our driver will be heading off for about 2 weeks each to spend time in Central Java and in nearby Bandung, respectively. If you'd like a better, recently written perspective on this time of fasting and then celebration, look to a few of the blogs I have at the right. Both the Weedas and Joel & Amanda cover the month of Ramadhan.

It seems like we just came home from Canada and now we're heading into our holidays already! Kids in Canada are just returning to school this week and THAT's weird. During our time home we've had a few "productive" moments and I'd like to share some of them with you.

One of the things that I am particularly aware of, being a mother of two and having a maid who cooks, cleans, irons and will even put away my

children's clothes if I let her, is that I need to prepare my kids for "the real world." What that may be is always a matter of debate, but in my eyes, it's being able to figure out how to turn on a clothes machine, how to iron a dress shirt, and how to survive in the kitchen. As a result, we've had a few kitchen sessions and have had a good time learning how to do things like make fried eggs, grilled cheese and french toast. We've even had a few 'yeasty' sessions of pita bread and white bread. The kids are doing great! I've included a photo of Matt's bread that he made, and if you look carefully, you'll see my new "40th birthday" ring that Tris bought me. Strategically placed, I admit. I like how it glitters.

When we returned home from Canada, there were reports of lots of rain and cold weather (guffaw!) here in Lippo Village. The result of that was that our grass died in the backyard and left a huge muddy patch. After planting some grass, our yard needed a little something more. I've taken some of my birthday money that was given to me in Canada (thank you!!) and bought myself a water feature. This nice chunk of cement cost me $45 and it has brought a lot of fun to the backyard. It's inspired me to expand and fill in our garden area, as well as buy some fish and water plants. I intended on buying only 2 fish but who can say no to 6 fish for 20 cents!! Another 30 cents for a huge bag of food and I was set. The last 2 weeks has been full of dealing with a tilting water feature (we must be having mini earthquakes or something because the thing tilts every couple of days) and finding the ideal location for it.

One really weird thing that happened today was that while Tris and I were lounging outside, enjoying the sound of falling water, our fish started to jump. Seriously, there was this one that would line itself up just under the waterfall and then jump

through it. We watched this four times before he stopped. It was quite the show, and I wondered if maybe we'd bought a small salmon-type fish that needed to spawn or something. Sadly, a few hours later I went out to feed them and one of the fish had actually jumped OUT of the water onto dry land. The ants had gotten to him and chewed little holes in him, but when Tris returned him to the water, he began to swim around. Not sure if he'll live, but since I was going to name the six fish after Snow White's Seven Dwarves (minus Grumpy), this particular fish will be called Dopey.

About a week ago we had friends over for dinner, and Indian was on the menu. I've never cooked an Indian meal before but with the help of a few pre-packaged items and sauces in my freezer and cupboard, I was up for the challenge. One of the things I did make from scratch, though, was Beef Vindaloo, and it

was fun to make. I had to take a photo of the spices I needed to grind together, because they're so beautiful and colourful together. Some of the ingredients were chili powder, garlic cloves, grated ginger, turmeric, salt, pepper, black cumin seeds, dill seeds and coriander powder. After grinding the spices, I had to marinate the meat for 2 hours in them and then cook for another 4 hours. It was very nice and I'd definitely make it again.

Finally, the ultimate in productive for me, was that two weeks ago I spent 5 days, 6 hours a day studying Indonesian language with a friend. We hired a tutor and learned some good solid grammar. Still, I feel like with all the money I've spent on language classes and learning and all the hours I've invested, I should be able to speak better than I am. It's very frustrating.

That's it for productivity.

Thanks for reading.