"Meaningless, Meaningless...everything is meaningless!" These words, found in the book of Ecclesiastes, are believed to be written by King Solomon, the world's wisest and one of the richest men ever to have lived. A few verses later (chapter 2) he adds "I have seen all the things that are done under the sun; all of them are meaningless, a chasing after the wind." I remember the first time that I really read those words, sitting on my bunk bed amongst all my roommates in Tijuana, Mexico. They really depressed me, and I didn't understand what was being said, even when I read contextually.
Twenty years later, I'm still learning what those words mean. As always, whenever I study a topic in my bible devotions, it isn't a coincidence that the same topic is being discussed in other studies I attend and in conversations occurring around me. Quite often it relates to what is going on in my life and in the lives of those around me. These last few weeks has been full of the question "why?" Right now Japan is experiencing horrors that we can only imagine, the likes of which have been written about in futuristic novels based on catastrophic events like floods, quakes, explosions and the loss of thousands of lives. I can't even begin to imagine what they're going through, and to be painfully honest, I pray I don't ever find out. In our own school community, a kindergarten child has died after going through surgery for a brain tumor, a staff member has lost his child to a convulsive fever, and a colleague of Tris' has passed away from cancer, all within a week's time. Hearts are stirred and I pray that people are contemplating the meaning of life, the whys of what they're doing and who they're doing it for. Those of us who are not acquainted with the people who have lost these loved ones still are touched by the deaths, by the loss of life, by the sadness that comes from their stories.
I live on an island, and in an earthquake zone. I have lived this way most of my life, except some of it on the other side of the world. People in my family have died from cancer. Illness has touched my life in various ways throughout the years, whether someone else's or my own. I can choose to life in fear and turn within myself, to close myself off from pain and challenges, from reality around me, and ultimately, from God, or I can choose to live the life that God has always had for me. I struggle, I struggle badly sometimes, at following God's leading. I know I resist, and sometimes I wonder if I am missing out on something else in my life because I didn't obey Him earlier in some areas. That I will never know on this earth, but I continue on, asking forgiveness and God, always gracious and merciful, is always forgiving and loving me to the next step.
When Solomon was saying life was meaningless, I believe he wasn't referring to living. He was referring to what we fill our living with. I am learning--slowly, painfully, joyfully--that it doesn't matter what I do. It's who I do it for. If I'm looking for approval, acceptance, wealth, prestige, wanting 'stuff', it's all for naught. Unless what I'm doing is going to continue on after I die, then it's worthless. I don't mean having a school or a road named after me, or even having a plaque stating all my good deeds at the city gate. I mean when I die, will I have touched the lives of others? Will they have been drawn closer to Jesus because of my words, my deeds, my actions, and ultimately, because of my relationship with the Lord? Am I doing 'good stuff' and creating a 'happy' environment for others, but not leaving a legacy that leads people to seek, to know and to believe God, their Creator? If so, then I believe my life is truly meaningless. My challenge to me is, how will I make it meaningful? I know that one, maybe two generations will know of me after I am gone, maybe even three with the way we are able to record history now. The question is, will anybody in the generations to come know the Lord because of me? I pray daily that this is so.
Thanks for reading.
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