Mother's Day

What does it mean to be a Mother? I guess it's a different description for each woman, with our own experiences and situations. What I've learned is that it's hard being a mom, not because of the children being rotten (although that happens) but because of the love that you have for your kids.

I've been given a gift, and sometimes I take that gift for granted. I let life get my attention and forget to look at the world directly around me, the one that is really, truly the center of why I exist for these years I'm in right now. My heart mourns the days when these two beautiful, chubby (they were chubby once!) little babies filled my entire day. Now my two favourite times of the day are 1: when they head off to school and 2: even better, when they return! Although I do miss those days, and I actually cry tears when I think of how precious those days at home with Matthew and Abigail were, I am so thankful that they're growing up healthy, happy, and that they know the Lord.

When the kids entered elementary school and their lives began expanding, it was my duty to begin to cut loose the apron strings. One of my favourite "development" memories is of when I forced them, quite literally, to walk together the 1 1/2 country blocks to our mail box. I watched them walk down the street from my red front door, the mailbox key in Matthew's hand, and waited for their return. It took all of 6 minutes (I think they ran once they got to the corner of our street and the "bigger" country road) yet it was a big day for all of us.

Now, with Matthew in Middle School and Abby in her last year of Junior (elementary) school, I am struggling to keep up with where they are, who they are with, and what they're doing. I trust that they're making good choices, and usually they're just hanging with friends at the school, but it's my prerogative to keep tabs on them at all times. There's talk of university applications already, and where we'll be when they graduate highschool. Really, we're looking at a possible 4 years left with Matt in our home, and 6 with Abby. That goes by so quickly! When that happens I won't be there any more to hug them when they're sad, or hurt, or both. There won't be anyone to come home to a house that smells like cookies, made just for them. There'll be Tris, but he doesn't throw his stuff down, fling his shoes wherever, and run into the kitchen to see what's baking. He at least washes his hands first.

I think the biggest privilege I've ever had in my life is to be able to raise Matthew and Abby. I've struggled for years with the idea that I've not used my education for income, yet it's all ok when I think that I've got years ahead to pursue my education and to expand my skills when they're off doing their own thing. I am thankful that I've been a mom and I wouldn't change it for the world.

Thanks for reading.