For my Brothers

I have a memory of when I was 4 1/2 years old. It is of my aunt Mary, my mom's younger sister, standing in our hallway in the cutest pair of babydoll pajamas. I think it stuck in my mind mainly because of my next memory which was of mom coming home and plunking this very large, very round baby onto the table. Aunt Mary must have been looking after my older brother and I while my mom was at the hospital. I don't remember if the baby was in a baby seat or not, but for some reason I remember him being on the table in our kitchen on Golden Street. This 10 lb. baby turned out to be my younger brother, Tyler James, or as I called him as he grew up, TJ. It usually came out like this: "TJ, I'm telling!" "TJ, don't touch that! It's mine!" "TJ, go away! I'm playing with my friends."

Poor TJ. Because there was almost 5 years between us he became my personal dolly, to dress up, to parade around in costumes, to boss around, to play tricks on and to torment in general. I have memories of him trying to get me back for the mean things I did. One of the weirdest is of him as a 4 year old biting off ALL of the end pieces of ALL of my blow-up barbie furniture so that I couldn't close off the ends anymore. Why was it weird? Because all those little ends disappeared, never to be found. Our only surmise is that he bit them off and then swallowed them. Pay back? For whom?

Darren William, my older brother by about 4 years, apologized to me once we became grown ups. He was sorry for all of those mean older brother things that he did to me when I was a little girl. Because I forgave him, I can't really air his dirty laundry on my blog. However, it makes me wonder if I ever asked TJ to forgive me for all those times I dressed him up complete with high heels and bright red hand-me-down lipstick?

Our family of 3 kids was a bit different than most because we were so far apart in age. Darren was born in 1966, Tyler in 1975 and myself in 1970. According to the Birth Order Book (great read if you like this kind of psychology...if you can get your hands on an earlier edition it's a better read), we were like 3 mini families in one; we were like 3 'only children.' That explains a few things:) Someone asked me the other day if I ever wanted to have a sister when I was growing up and honestly, I don't think it ever occured to me. I had brothers, foster brothers and boy cousins who lived with us and I kind of stood out a little. I guess I figured I was special. Maybe I didn't want the female competition! I was quite happy to have my meanie older brother and my pesky little brother and all the perks that went with having them as siblings. I still wouldn't change it for the world.I am so thankful for my brothers and all that they've taught me. Patience is a big one. Tolerance (of pain) is another. How to defend myself physically is a big one. How to throw a good punch is another. Where NOT to hide special candy is a big one. Those things I learned early. Now they're teaching me new things, just by being my brothers. The things I'm learning I am trying to pass on to my children, Matt and Abby. Such things as they are blood and when you grow up it's family that is still around; you meet good people through the years but it's family that matters. Learning how to have a good argument without including others (I'm telling mom!!!) and learning that it's okay to agree to disagree are the ones that I am still learning and teaching my kids. Just by being with Darren I am always reminded that having fun isn't that hard and that laughter is truly contagious. There are times when I wish he was near and we could watch a movie together, because he ALWAYS makes me laugh during movies (except that really, really stupid Adam Sandler movie we all saw together this summer). TJ is the epitome of hard work and he inspires me to hang in there when I think that I can't follow through with something. I wish I had a picture of him in his fireman's uniform...he looks so handsome (I know, old person's word, but how else can I describe him?).

I am so proud of both my brothers and I miss them very much. I missed Darren when he lived in Alberta and I lived in Courtenay, but knowing that I am so much further away is so much harder. He just spent last week at our parents and got to hang with TJ and his family as well. I am envious of the times they get to spend together. When I get together with my brothers I get to be the Kim that they knew years ago and get away with it. There's something that sneaks out of my personality and surfaces only when we're together. I can't really explain it and I don't think that I have to. I think my kids get it, though.

The reason that I am writing this particular post, in honour of my brothers Darren & Tyler, is because this weekend I have been reminded of the precious relationship that siblings have. Tris' Uncle Rocky (born Norman), brother of Sunny, Sam and Valencia, passed away this weekend. I only had the privilege of meeting him once and that was at Laura and Paul's wedding. It wasn't a great opportunity to get to know someone and sadly it was the one time I met up with him personally. Tris and I have been filled in through family links and I know Tris is thankful for that. What we know is that Rocky became a Christian years ago and once he made that decision he lived full-on for Jesus. Even as he was being medi-vac'd from Chetwyn to Kelowna Hospital he was witnessing to the attendants, even during his pain.

Life is short and it sounds like Rocky packed his with life before he died. Although I am far away from my loved ones on both my side of the family and Tris', my love doesn't fade and I cherish the life we've experienced together. I don't regret our decision to move but there are definately sacrifices to being this far away, and for me not being with family is the biggest.

Thanks for reading.